The Sugar Plum Princess

THE SUGAR PLUM PRINCESS

There once was a girl called Sanna Broccolichips. When she started her second grade class, all the kids laughed at her. “Sanna Banana! She eats broccoli chips! We eat potato chips!” Her best friend, the only one not making fun of her, was Clara, from the nutcracker. The sugar plum fairy had turned Sanna and Clara into sugar plum princesses.

The rats were back, and the one that died had not really died. The horrible creatures kicked so hard, they broke Clara’s leg!!! Now Sanna was alone with the rats. The rats drank spoiled milk and puked all over Mom’s new carpet.

Mr. Plumbottom and the bratty kids

Mr. Plumbottom was fine for three days after he turned fifty.   He finally decided enough is enough and fifty is not old. But his ear hurt.  He went to the doctor.  It turned out he did not have an infection.  It was just the bratty kids, who always played at the beach. Their names were Emily and Riley.  They were three -year -old twins, and Riley was older by three seconds.  They kicked and hit and bit and screamed.  It was so loud they hurt Mr. Plummbottom’s ears all the way from the beach to the pirate ship. 

SNOW WHITE

You know those stories about Snow White that say she died and came back alive?  Well, those are fake stories.  In real life, she fainted. 

Now she is twenty-five and the prince is twenty-three.  They have two baby daughters, Rosaline and Emily.  They live in the palace and have a cradle for the babies. 

THE REAL STORY

There once was a girl called Patricia.  Her mom called her Snow White because she was born when the snow was fluffy white.  When she was four, an evil witch invaded her house.  She was jealous of Patricia’s beauty, so she pretended to be a nice lady at the park and played volleyball with her.  The witch hit Patricia so hard on the head with the volleyball that she fainted for TEN YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Her parents were so worried about her that they fainted too.  The witch left after 7 years because she thought they were all dead and that her work was done. When Patricia was fourteen, a boy named Aiden, about twelve years old, who was a prince fell in love with her because he thought she was really pretty while she was sleeping.  Aiden had some lemonade with him, and he poured it on her accidently, which woke her up.  Her parents woke up too when he poured lemonade on them on purpose.  They were so happy to see her, and she and Aiden were friends for years, and eventually got married. 

Picture

Sarah's Homemade Lemonade

Recipe For Sarah’s Homemade Lemonade

However many lemons you would like

3 mint leaves

Add sugar until it tastes sweet

 Add water until the glass is full

Squeeze lemons into juicer and try to get out as much as you can.

Put everything into a glass and drink cold and fresh.

FIFTY IS YOUNG!

That afternoon, as Mr. Plumbottom got off his ship and walked down the street, he met this little boy named Denis.  “Guess what!” Denis exclaimed. “My mom turned fifty today and she is very, very young!” That’s when Mr. Plumbottom realized he had a few more decades to go until he visited heaven.  Mr. Plumbottom was called home because they were having a little of Sarah’s Homemade Lemonade.

The News

When Mr. Plumbottom got the Ocean Life Newspaper, he was so surprised he spit out his coffee.  Because the headline was: PLUMBOTTOM SEES MERMAID!  He had not seen a mermaid! His employees had not told him about any mermaid! He sailed his pirate ship into harbor and ran straight to the newspaper place.  Apparently, they had mistaken them for the Runbollum Family.