Isaiah the Beetle
Intro
I’m Isaiah
the Beetle. Remember me? Do you have a lawnmower I might be able to use? That’d be a big help, because lawnmowers are
the new fad.
Ruthie Georgia has a pink and
white one. Ollie has a blue one. Eliza
has a yellow one. Ivor wishes he had
a green one. Mikey Beck’s got a red one. The Teipen twins, Will and Isa, have
black ones. Shall I continue? No? Okay. I tried to earn money for an orange one
called the Turbo Bust by assisting Eliza at her job,(there are two adorable
flies belonging to the neighbor, a lovely white beetle named Cate, and Eliza
takes the flies on walks)but Mommy got
mad when I fed the flies six treats each, so that didn’t work out. So, if you could lend me a doll-sized
lawnmower, I’d be grateful.
The
Birthday Party
I lay in bed, the afternoon of my birthday, staring at the
eerie ice-blue laser beam of my clock. The smell of rotting wood drafted up
through my air vent and made my mouth water.
I wiped the drool from my slimy larvae mouth.
2:20… 2:21…2:22…2:23! I was
seven! I thought about how today, with luck, I would receive a shiny new Turbo
Bust. I was so lost in my reverie that I nearly had a heart attack to see a
yellow female larvae, slightly larger than myself, with a few growing beetle legs, peering down at me. It was
Eliza. “What was that all about?” I shouted. “Shh!” said Eliza. “Dad’s taking a nap!”
“Shh yourself!” I replied. “ You nearly gave me a heart attack!” “But the
guests are here!” said Eliza.
We slithered downstairs,
forgetting to be quiet, and greeted the first guests. Ruthie Georgia carried an
oversized wrapped box, and I was hopeful.
By the time everyone had arrived, we were gobbling down the decomposing
bark. Then we played Freeze-Squirm, No-Legged Race, and several other games for
young larvae. Soon, it was time to open presents. The Teipens gave me Beetle
Man figurines. Mikey gave me Super Beetle figurines. Ollie bought me a Bob the Termite costume. It
was time to open the present from Ruthie Georgia and Ivor. It was a…green
lawnmower called The Larvae Love. I tried not to hide my disappointment. But I
didn’t get the Turbo Bust.
The Two Letters-Good and Evil
Mom made me write a thank-
you note anyway. But first, I wrote down
a rather rude thank- you note. I knew I
would not be able to send it. But it made me feel better to put my feelings
down on paper. Dear Ruthie Georgia, I
thought you were smart enough to know what your best friend would want for his
birthday. Guess you’re not my best friend after all. Hope I don’t see you soon,
Isaiah. Next, (my thirst for revenge
quenched) I set to work on a real note.
Dear Ruthie Georgia, Thank you for the Larvae Love. I
have been yearning for a lawnmower ever since they came out as the new fad.
Hope to see you soon! Your BFF always,
Isaiah.
More Disappointing News And A Lightbulb
The next morning, I slithered
downstairs. “How old am I?”
I asked Mommy. “Stop.” Mom thought my question was
irrational. “Six?” I asked. Eliza guffawed. My face fell. Yesterday was
real. Then, I brightened. “Aren’t you excited to go to Grandma Hollyberry”s house?”
“Actually, that got canceled,” was Eliza’s somber reply. “It’s not fair!” I
whined. “Life is not fair,” quoted Dad. I squirmed upstairs. I knew what Eliza
would say if she were here: “Stop trailing slime like that! When will you turn
twelve and get some legs like me?” All of a sudden, I had an idea! I could use
the Larvae Love to make money for the Turbo Bust. My business would be titled
The Slime Trailer. I would mow spider webs out of beetles’ lawns!
The Hero
The next day I put on my Bob
the Termite costume, which consisted of fake teeth, a brown vest, and a
builder’s hat. Then, I colored my
Wood-Burger King crown green with leaf juice, and completed my costume by writing
Slime Trailer on a leaf and sticking it on my vest with tree sap.
I walked down the street with
my lawnmower, when I spotted Cate’s fly, Junebug, caught in a spider web. Slime
Trailer to the rescue!
I woke up in the hospital
with a severe spider bite. Apparently,
the spider attacked, and Daddy saved Junebug and me. At least no one
died, but I was not the hero. Daddy was.
The O.K. Day
The next day was not so
bad. In fact, it was the most average
day in all my life. Nothing wonderful happened, and nothing rotten happened
(except that Junebug brought me a puked- up rotting carcass that I pretended to
appreciate). Ruthie Georgia informed me
that the reason she didn’t buy me the Turbo Bust was because there was not
enough money in her Beety Bank ( a
hollow pink ceramic beetle the size of an ant’s abdomen). Mom brought me a bark sandwich with holly
berry jam, and Eliza brought me a poppy- petal scarf.
Succeeding
It was scorching out. My
larvae back was slimier than ever. I was mowing the lawn outside of our house,
which was under a pine tree. Mom and Dad
had promised me an allowance. All I wanted was to lay on my flower petal bed
and count money sheep, and drift off to sleep to dream about cleansing my slimy
self in a pool of money… “Ow!” I realized that I had been so lost in my reverie
that I had mowed right into the toothpick fence. I had mowed for so long, that our yard
was bare.
Mom and Dad just laughed and
gave me a pine needle anyway. Eliza
said she was already planning to do what I did and plant some dandelions.
Healing And an Equation
I was at the doctor’s office. Dr. Smith, the larvaetrician was smearing aloe all over me. I was planning an Ageflobh
(A Great Expedition For Lawnmowers
Of Beetlecottage Home). Everyone of the
neighborhood was invited. The only problem was that Ivor didn’t have a lawnmower. I waited for a
lightbulb, but none came.
I went home and wrote down an equation. Turbo
Bust costs twenty-one pine needles, and I
have one pine needle. I get paid
two pine needles for each square inch I mow. The average beetle lawn is ten
square inches. So I only needed to mow one more lawn!
The Idea
All of a sudden, I realized
something. Ivor wanted a green lawnmower.
That’s what I had. What would
I do with the Larvae Love once I had the
Turbo Bust? That’s when it came to me.
The only problem was that Ivor was at his grandparents’ house. He would
be back tomorrow. So I waited all
through that long afternoon, basking in the sun and avoiding humans. I waited
through that long night. I dreamt a horrible dream that Ivor moved to Hawaii,
and was squashed by a beach ball.
The next morning I spotted
Ivor at his house about twelve feet away. Then, I realized that he was getting
into an acorn cap, and they were driving away. I had forgotten their weeklong
trip to Rotting-Woodrift
Place.
The Surprise
The next day, Ruthie Georgia
and I were mowing the lawn. I had the
Turbo Bust! Ivor was sitting under the
shade of a dandelion watching with envy. I decided it was time to tell him. So
I went to the corn husk garage and brought out the Larvae Love. When I broke
the news to Ivor, he screamed with delight. He joined in the festivity. Soon,
the grass was cut clean, and we sat down to bark pie.
