Isaiah the Beetle Mows the Lawn

Isaiah the Beetle

Intro

I’m Isaiah the Beetle. Remember me? Do you have a lawnmower I might be able to use? That’d be a big help, because lawnmowers are the new fad. 

Ruthie Georgia has a pink and white one. Ollie has a blue one.  Eliza has a yellow one. Ivor wishes he had a green one. Mikey Beck’s got a red one. The Teipen twins, Will and Isa, have black ones. Shall I continue? No? Okay. I tried to earn money for an orange one called the Turbo Bust by assisting Eliza at her job,(there are two adorable flies belonging to the neighbor, a lovely white beetle named Cate, and Eliza takes  the flies on walks)but Mommy got mad when I fed the flies six treats each, so that didn’t work out.  So, if you could lend me a doll-sized lawnmower, I’d be grateful.

 The Birthday Party

I lay in bed,  the afternoon of my birthday, staring at the eerie ice-blue laser beam of my clock. The smell of rotting wood drafted up through my air vent and made my mouth water.  I wiped the drool from my slimy larvae mouth.

2:20… 2:21…2:22…2:23! I was seven! I thought about how today, with luck, I would receive a shiny new Turbo Bust. I was so lost in my reverie that I nearly had a heart attack to see a yellow female larvae, slightly larger than myself,  with a few growing beetle legs, peering down at me. It was Eliza. “What was that all about?” I shouted. “Shh!” said Eliza. “Dad’s taking a nap!” “Shh yourself!” I replied. “ You nearly gave me a heart attack!” “But the guests are here!” said Eliza. 

We slithered downstairs, forgetting to be quiet, and greeted the first guests. Ruthie Georgia carried an oversized wrapped box, and I was hopeful.  By the time everyone had arrived, we were gobbling down the decomposing bark. Then we played Freeze-Squirm, No-Legged Race, and several other games for young larvae. Soon, it was time to open presents. The Teipens gave me Beetle Man figurines. Mikey gave me Super Beetle figurines.   Ollie bought me a Bob the Termite costume. It was time to open the present from Ruthie Georgia and Ivor. It was a…green lawnmower called The Larvae Love. I tried not to hide my disappointment. But I didn’t get the Turbo Bust.

The Two Letters-Good and Evil

Mom made me write a thank- you note anyway.  But first, I wrote down a rather rude thank- you note.  I knew I would not be able to send it. But it made me feel better to put my feelings down on paper. Dear Ruthie Georgia, I thought you were smart enough to know what your best friend would want for his birthday. Guess you’re not my best friend after all. Hope I don’t see you soon, Isaiah. Next,  (my thirst for revenge quenched) I set to work on a real note.

Dear Ruthie Georgia, Thank you for the Larvae Love. I have been yearning for a lawnmower ever since they came out as the new fad. Hope to see you soon! Your BFF always,

 Isaiah.

More Disappointing News And A Lightbulb

The next morning, I slithered downstairs.  “How old am I?”

I asked Mommy.  “Stop.” Mom thought my question was irrational.  “Six?” I asked.  Eliza guffawed. My face fell. Yesterday was real. Then, I brightened. “Aren’t you excited to go to Grandma Hollyberry”s house?” “Actually, that got canceled,” was Eliza’s somber reply. “It’s not fair!” I whined. “Life is not fair,” quoted Dad. I squirmed upstairs. I knew what Eliza would say if she were here: “Stop trailing slime like that! When will you turn twelve and get some legs like me?” All of a sudden, I had an idea! I could use the Larvae Love to make money for the Turbo Bust. My business would be titled The Slime Trailer. I would mow spider webs out of beetles’ lawns!

The Hero

The next day I put on my Bob the Termite costume, which consisted of fake teeth, a brown vest, and a builder’s hat.  Then, I colored my Wood-Burger King crown green with leaf juice, and completed my costume by writing Slime Trailer on a leaf and sticking it on my vest with tree sap.

I walked down the street with my lawnmower, when I spotted Cate’s fly, Junebug, caught in a spider web. Slime Trailer to the rescue!

I woke up in the hospital with a severe spider bite.  Apparently, the spider attacked, and Daddy saved Junebug and me.  At least no one died, but I was not the hero. Daddy was.

 The O.K. Day

The next day was not so bad.  In fact, it was the most average day in all my life. Nothing wonderful happened, and nothing rotten happened (except that Junebug brought me a puked- up rotting carcass that I pretended to appreciate).   Ruthie Georgia informed me that the reason she didn’t buy me the Turbo Bust was because there was not enough money in her Beety Bank ( a  hollow pink ceramic beetle the size of an ant’s abdomen).  Mom brought me a bark sandwich with holly berry jam, and Eliza brought me a poppy- petal scarf.

  

Succeeding

It was scorching out. My larvae back was slimier than ever. I was mowing the lawn outside of our house, which was under a pine tree.  Mom and Dad had promised me an allowance. All I wanted was to lay on my flower petal bed and count money sheep, and drift off to sleep to dream about cleansing my slimy self in a pool of money… “Ow!” I realized that I had been so lost in my reverie that I had mowed right into the toothpick fence. I had mowed for so long, that our yard was bare.

Mom and Dad just laughed and gave me a pine needle anyway.   Eliza said she was already planning to do what I did and plant some dandelions.

  

Healing And an Equation

 I was at the doctor’s office.  Dr. Smith, the larvaetrician was smearing aloe all over me. I was planning an Ageflobh (A   Great  Expedition For Lawnmowers Of  Beetlecottage  Home). Everyone of the neighborhood was invited. The only problem was that  Ivor didn’t have a lawnmower. I waited for a lightbulb, but none came.

  I went home and wrote down an equation. Turbo Bust costs twenty-one pine needles, and I  have one pine needle.  I get paid two pine needles for each square inch I mow. The average beetle lawn is ten square inches. So I only needed to mow one more lawn!

 

 The Idea

All of a sudden, I realized something. Ivor wanted a green lawnmower.

That’s what I had. What would I do with the Larvae Love once I had the  Turbo Bust? That’s when it came to me.  The only problem was that Ivor was at his grandparents’ house. He would be back tomorrow.  So I waited all through that long afternoon, basking in the sun and avoiding humans. I waited through that long night. I dreamt a horrible dream that Ivor moved to Hawaii, and was squashed by a beach ball.

The next morning I spotted Ivor at his house about twelve feet away. Then, I realized that he was getting into an acorn cap, and they were driving away. I had forgotten their weeklong trip to Rotting-Woodrift

Place.

The Surprise

The next day, Ruthie Georgia and I were mowing the lawn.  I had the Turbo Bust!  Ivor was sitting under the shade of a dandelion watching with envy. I decided it was time to tell him. So I went to the corn husk garage and brought out the Larvae Love. When I broke the news to Ivor, he screamed with delight. He joined in the festivity. Soon, the grass was cut clean, and we sat down to bark pie.