Hi. My name is Matt Damon. Matt Damon the dog, that is. Even as a canine, I am heroic. My code name is MDHC.( Matt Damon the Heroic Canine.) You remember the story about my getting lost, right? I'm sure you have. Well, I didn't mean to cause a commotion. It's just that the team from my CNHCC (Celebrity Named Heroic Canine Club) sent me an S.O.S. signal saying to hightail it out of there (hee hee, get it? Hightail!), and pretty much, all I could do was run. I picked up speed, and pretty soon I reached the clubhouse. Panting, I stood on my hind legs and pawed at the knocker, when all of a sudden, I felt a rope tightening around my neck. It extended from a spaceship containing the well-known villain, Alberto, with his assistant, Alyssa.
Alberto had a voice like thunder and was so powerful that he could turn day into night. Even being very powerful and terrifying, he was small, short, and fat. He was a husky with long, greasy whiskers, a mile-long tail as rough as sandpaper, and his ears were so pointed, they looked like steak knives.
Alyssa was a Doberman Pinscher, and less terrifying than Alberto, but still scary enough to make you faint. She was fifty-eight years old and so skinny that she weighed as much as a college dog. Her voice was like gravel and every time she blinked, lightening flashed. She had long, tangled hair, the color of charcoal, and was about two heads taller than Alberto (although less powerful.)
So, back to the story. As soon as the rope was tight enough, I began to get dragged along the edge of the river. I needed to do something to stop the villains. Suddenly, the door of the clubhouse burst open. Christina Aguilera (the dog) and Blake Shelton (the dog) ran as fast as they could, which was faster than a speeding bullet. But they were still not fast enough to catch me. Alberto and Alyssa's spaceship was faster than the speed of light, and being dragged at that speed, my back caught on fire. Finally, Alberto and Alyssa's spaceship ran out of gas. I was relieved but in unimaginable pain. Blake & Christina rushed over. They were about to open their mouths, but faster than the shake of a lamb's tail, the engine started up again. That was because Alberto and Alyssa refilled their tank on plutonium whenever they ran out of gas.
Well, you know I was on fire, right? One of the sparks escaped and began to cut the rope extended from the spaceship. I stopped abruptly. By that time, I was up by Holliday Park. Alberto and Alyssa were still speeding through the sky in their spaceship, cackling and thinking I was still tied on.
Soon, Christina & Blake caught up. "Are you ok, MDHC?" they asked in unison. "Yes . . .yes . . . yes. I'm. . . fine," I panted. Then, Christina began to talk in a rush. "We sent out the SOS signal because our computer told us that Alberto and Alyssa were on their way. We still don't know what they were up to and what they want from us. That's what we have to figure out. Apparently, they got here too fast and we were too late to answer the door for you when they tied you up and began to drag you at the speed of light. I'm so, so, so sorry we didn't come sooner. Blake was peeing on a fire hydrant and I was munching on some dog treats. We didn't know you were in great danger."
Well, night was drawing near. We snuggled up together to brainstorm on how to catch Alberto and Alyssa, and, in spite of my wound, I was pretty comfortable.
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